grey whiteness of clouds above shadowed
green ridge, wind moving through leaves
in foreground, sound of wave in channel
a series of strokes, drawing
the tree dark against
something shows itself, here,
disclosing in a sense
grey-white fog on horizon next to point,
whiteness of gull perched on GROIN sign
maybe a typo in second to last line --- "nest" maybe I think should be "next"
ReplyDeletethanks steven, you're right (good close reading!). I just 'fixed' it, also added a missing) comma after that line -- I brought the poem into today's workshop and 'discovered' the "nest" where "next" should be
ReplyDelete(someone said "nest" was also pretty good, true enough but it needs
to be "next"), and when I was 'fixing' it just now also saw no comma after that line, so now it's there (too) -- must have been moving too fast this morning. . . .
Thanks Stephen.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to read your comment about the missing comma.
I saw the typo nest / next, but not the absence of the comma at the end of the line.
Maybe there should be a name (term) for when the identification of one thing not quite right blinds you to other things that also are not quite right.
Thanks Steven,
ReplyDeleteI thought you wrote "binds" (here instead of "blinds") which also makes sense. I didn't see the 'missing' comma either (when I first saw "nest" instead of "next" -- and then I noticed it. . . . both instances bound together, a blinding. . . .