Tuesday, September 29, 2009


grey whiteness of clouds above shadowed

green ridge, wind moving through leaves

in foreground, sound of wave in channel


      a series of strokes, drawing

      the tree dark against


      something shows itself, here,

      disclosing in a sense


grey-white fog on horizon next to point,

whiteness of gull perched on GROIN sign


  1. maybe a typo in second to last line --- "nest" maybe I think should be "next"

  2. thanks steven, you're right (good close reading!). I just 'fixed' it, also added a missing) comma after that line -- I brought the poem into today's workshop and 'discovered' the "nest" where "next" should be
    (someone said "nest" was also pretty good, true enough but it needs
    to be "next"), and when I was 'fixing' it just now also saw no comma after that line, so now it's there (too) -- must have been moving too fast this morning. . . .

  3. Thanks Stephen.

    It's interesting to read your comment about the missing comma.

    I saw the typo nest / next, but not the absence of the comma at the end of the line.

    Maybe there should be a name (term) for when the identification of one thing not quite right blinds you to other things that also are not quite right.

  4. Thanks Steven,
    I thought you wrote "binds" (here instead of "blinds") which also makes sense. I didn't see the 'missing' comma either (when I first saw "nest" instead of "next" -- and then I noticed it. . . . both instances bound together, a blinding. . . .